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July 8, 2015

Why You Should Stop Chasing Guys

You want a guy. So what do you do? You chase after him, right? You let him know that you’re interested and you pursue him. After all, we have the power to go after everything and anything that we want, so shouldn’t we go after our men too? Well, although we can chase after guys, it’s actually better if we sit back and take a different approach to dating. Instead of chasing guys, let them come to you – here is how it works.

Men are Hunters

Men are hunters by nature. They are hard-wired to go out and find what they want – that means that when they want to find food, they go out and get it. Men are wired to pursue what they want and that also includes their sexual partners. Biologically, men want to find the most attractive, healthy, strong partner so that they can create the most attractive, healthiest and strongest baby – therefore ensuring the continuation of the species.

Men will compete with other men to win the most desirable female – and that’s you. Because this is the way that men are wired to think, in order to get the guy, you need to think about yourself in a different way – you need to think of yourself as being the woman that they want.

Know That You’re the Prize

To get the guy, you need to think of yourself in a different way. All too often, women send out needy, desperate and attention-seeking signals when they chase after guys – constant texts, emails and “where is this going?” talks are enough to send any man running for the hills. Instead of constantly chasing him, view yourself in a different way. Know that you’re the prize.

Be Open

When you’re actively trying to get the guy, instead of constantly chasing him, be open. Have open body language – keep your arms unfolded and don’t cross your legs. Have an open, friendly and approachable expression on your face. Admire him and appreciate him, but don’t do it in such a way that you appear to be needy and desperate.

Be open, honest and approachable and praise him and admire him without fawning all over him. Smile often and make lots of eye contact, and if it’s appropriate, touch him lightly on the arm. And then leave it.

Don’t follow up that encounter with lots of texts and phone calls. Instead, let him come to you. Being open and desirable when you spend time with him will make him remember you. Making yourself desirable and knowing that you’re the prize will ensure that he keeps thinking about you, and with time, he will come to seek you out – rather than the other way round. Behaving in this way sends a very clear non-verbal message – “I’m the prize so come and get me”.

Don’t Overdo It

When we say “know that you’re the prize” we don’t mean that you should act like you’re superior or that you’re too good for the guy. There’s a fine line between acting like you’re a desirable, fun and interesting person to be around and acting like you’re a snooty girl who has no interest in anything apart from herself.

If you overdo it, he’ll instantly be turned off – he wants to be with a fun, approachable and desirable girl, not a girl that thinks she is so desirable that she’ll wait for something better to come along. Make sure you get the balance right.

But I Don’t Want to Give Him the Power

Often, women mistakenly believe that if they let the man do all the chasing, they don’t have any of the power. But the truth is that if you approach dating in this way – whereby you don’t chase the guy and you instead let him come to you, you effectively stop playing the dating game. You actually stop playing any games – instead, you’re letting things move in a completely natural way. You also do have the power – you have the power to choose the man that you want.

Remember, if you quit chasing guys, the way that you behave towards them doesn’t involve you playing games. The way that you behave towards men should feel fairly natural and not like you’re behaving in that way just to get a man.

Instead, be natural and approachable and let the guys come to you – you’ll actually be exercising the ultimate power. Behaving in this way doesn’t mean that men “win” and that they get to pick and choose whoever they like while you only get to choose the men that want you.

Think about it – actually, the men that come to you and the men that want to chase you will be the best of the bunch. Any man that realizes your worth and realizes what a catch you are is a man worth considering.

You Have the Choice

Remember that although you aren’t chasing after men, that doesn’t mean that you have to let every man in your life chase after you. If you don’t find a particular man attractive or if you don’t feel like there is a spark – and you don’t feel like you will ever find that man attractive or if you feel like there will never be a spark, then you don’t have to let them be an option. If you don’t feel an attraction to a man it is unlikely that you’ll suddenly find them attractive and super-desirable three months down the line.

So remember that you don’t have to make yourself available to every man. If you’re chatting to a guy but you don’t want him to chase you, make subtle changes in your body language so that you’re less available.

Be friendly and approachable and don’t close yourself off as you’ll seem like a cold fish – but don’t be flirty with them. You have the choice to be approachable and desirable around the men that you want to attract – and you also have the choice to just be a friend to the men that you don’t want to attract.