4 Steps To Improve Your Love Life - How To Win a Man's Heart

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August 9, 2014

4 Steps To Improve Your Love Life

Men have a natural instinct for interpreting their environment.

This goes back hundreds of years to them being out in the wild, hunting buffalo or other wild animals to bring home to feed the women and children.

Natural providers, that’s what men are. While they were out hunting wild animals, the women were in the caves or nearby picking berries.

They paid attention to detail.

If they chose the berry with the red spots instead of the one with white spots, for example, they could poison their entire village. So women tend not to look up and take in the surrounding environment.

They focus on the details. Men look around and get familiar with their environment. They analyze it. They size it up, so to speak.  They do this naturally, instinctively, subconsciously.

It is usually done from a safety perspective, rather than a romance perspective. It is so natural, that they often don’t even realize they are doing it.

Military trained men are an exception; they are well aware that they are taking in the clues from their environment; assessing and adjusting accordingly.

Put on your “home-vision-goggles” and get ready to take a look at your home.  The following are things you can do to your environment to improve your love life.

4 Steps to Improve Your Love Life

1. Think Like a Couple

Whether or not you are currently in a relationship, if you start to think like a couple you will be opening yourself and your life to make room for one.

Start thinking as if you are already part of a couple and you will not only be ready when the right person shows up, you’ll be more likely to recognize them.

Look around your living room. If you were sharing your home with your mate, would your living room look the same as it does now?

Would you decorate it the same way?

Would it be kept cleaner or perhaps less clean?

Would it be more lived in?

Would it be arranged the same way you have it?

In other words, is your living room able to support a couple?

Where would you sit? Where would your mate sit?

Would you both be comfortable? Would you be near each other?

Would you both be able to see the television or have enough light to read by?

Are you willing to make any changes you observed for a mate?

You may or may not choose to make those changes right now, but your willingness to make the changes is the key point.

If you are unwilling to make changes to your home for your prospective mate, then you may not be ready for your mate.

Ask yourself, which is more important to you, your home being the way it is now, or having the relationship of your dreams.

2. Balance Yin and Yang

Balance shows up in all aspects of life.

The Yin Yang symbol is often thought of as symbolizing balance. It also represents the interaction, the flow, between opposites.

There is some black in the white and some white in the black. The sides are flowing into each other.

Dark becomes light; light becomes dark.  The dark side represents the feminine, and the light side represents the masculine.

The two create balance and harmony.

The same is true in relationships.

The masculine and feminine energies must be in balance for harmony to be present. Are both present in your living environment?

If a room is too masculine, think “good ole boys club,” a woman will not be comfortable there for long.

In fact, if she is visiting she would likely feel unwelcome there. If she lives there, she may behave more masculine.

This can throw the balance off in a relationship and create a competitive dynamic between the two partners.

On the other hand, an environment that is too feminine, think flowers, lace and pink everywhere, would not encourage a man to stay long.

It would be a nice place to visit but not to live.

It would emasculate him and tend to create a mother-son dynamic between the couple rather than a male-female balance.

Make sure your environment has a balance of both masculine and feminine. Balance does not mean there has to be an equal amount of masculine and feminine.

Large furniture, activity, bright lights, and angular edges are all symbolic of masculine energy.

Feminine energy can be represented by curves, small patterns, dim lights and quiet. Make sure both energies are represented and you’ll have more balanced relationships.

3. Be the Center of Your Universe

Often, in the homes of married couples, there is nothing to indicate that the couple is the center of the universe, or the home.

The children, their work, family, friends, or other people or things appear to be the primary focus.

If there are pictures of the two of them together, they are often lost in a multitude of family photos.

This can be indicative of how their lives have become overrun by family and other things, and that the couple, and the nurturing of the partnership, has been all but forgotten.

Bring pictures of the couple to the forefront, especially in the bedroom and the living room.

Often homes of single people have a large screen television, pets, work, or athletic equipment as the center of the universe.

This will make that object the focus of their attention and their life.

If you are single and want to be in a relationship, or if you are in a relationship that has lost its luster, be sure your home reflects love and romance in a prominent manner.

Make sure those other things know their place in your home and in your life.

4. Create A Safe Haven

We all need a safe haven:  A place where we can come to rest and regenerate from our day.

Make sure your home is a safe haven for you and for your mate.

This means that you have a place to go, where you can relax, clear your mind and not worry about anything.

Keep work, budget and others things that take your energy, in a separate room if possible.  If this is not possible, keep them in a closed cabinet or drawer.

When you are trying to relax and rejuvenate, you don’t want to have visual reminders of your unpaid bills or incomplete work.

This includes workout equipment, especially if working out is something you find challenging to find time for.

Having it view will not make it easier to find time, but it will cause you more stress over not having the time.

Many of us enter our homes through our garage. If this is true for you, make sure your garage is a pleasant visual experience that welcomes you home rather than a space full of clutter that needs clearing.

Keep shelves and cabinets neat and organized.

Whenever possible, keep things in closed cabinets or shelves with drapes covering them so the paint cans, tools, and other storage items are hidden.

You may also want to hang a picture or poster that appeals to you, at the front of the garage so you see it as you drive in.

This will act as a “greeter” welcoming you home from a hard day out in the world. Coming home to a cluttered garage can create a feeling of tension.

This is the exact opposite of a safe haven and not the way you want to be greeted when you arrive home.

Hanging a picture of you and your mate, a loving couple, or a romantic or relaxing scene can set the tone for a relaxed and romantic evening.

Be sure you have at least one room in your home that is worry free, where you can go to relax and clear your mind of worry and responsibilities.

This means each partner knows they are safe in their own home, that they will be greeted by a loving partner, or at least they have a “free-zone” – a place to go where they can take time for themselves.

A relaxed partner is a partner who is better able to give to their partner, so let your partner take the time he/she needs for him/herself.

Make your home a safe haven for you and for them.

About the author

Helen Arabanos

Helen Arabanos is the author of HE’S INTO YOU… But Is His Home? What a Man’s Feng Shui Can Reveal About Him, and a Professional Feng Shui Consultant based in Westlake Village, CA.

To know more about Helen Arabanos, visit her website www.FullBloomFengShui.com.