8 Ways To Know If He Is a Keeper - How To Win a Man's Heart

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August 7, 2017

8 Ways To Know If He Is a Keeper

In today’s world, with all the divorce and infidelity that is plaguing this time in history, one might find themselves asking “Is this the right person for me?”

Although many of us are looking for some outside validation to answer this question, the truth is, the answer always lies within.

The better we know and nurture ourselves, the better position we are in to recognize a suitable partner and take the next step toward a committed relationship.

For every person you talk to about what they want in a mate, they will have answers as diverse as their DNA.  We are all unique individuals with different wants, needs, passions and hobbies.

There is no possible way to describe who would be exactly perfect for you, but there are a few questions you can ask yourself along the dating path to see if the essential core elements are present in your partner.

Below is a list of 8 core elements that I believe should be in place prior to committing to a long term relationship.

These are items that will help secure a solid foundation in which to build your life with your man.  With these items in place, the chances of procuring a healthy, long term relationship multiplies!

1. Do I feel as though I am a priority in his life?

This doesn’t mean you always have to be first because sometimes there are pressing matters that are more important at the moment.  What it does mean is that you feel that he has you high up on his priority list.

You can clearly see his efforts to see and be around you.  He is genuinely interested in your day and makes special effort to find time for you.

2. Is my partner willing to openly communicate?

To me, the most important aspect of growing and maintaining a healthy relationship is the ability to communicate openly with your partner.

If a partner is unwilling to look at himself and/or talk about important relationship subjects, your relationship may be over before it even started. Relationships are work.

They are the doorway into self-discovery and movement.  If you do not have open communication, the relationship will struggle and could potentially end.  It takes two people to make a relationship work.

3. Is he addicted to a substance?

Addiction can be a relationship killer.  When one party is addicted to a substance whether it be porn, alcohol, marijuana or a drug of choice, you are in fact in a relationship with the addiction/drug and not the person.  Addiction is a very serious situation and it can and will ruin your relationship.

Be careful about making excuses for his “partying”.  You will know soon enough if it is a problem.  And if you are not sure, I implore you to research signs and symptoms of addiction and what this can mean for you further down the road.

4. How does he treat people in general?

By paying close attention to how he treats others, you can uncover a lot about your partner.  Is he quick to temper in a restaurant?  Is he rude to sales people?  Does he treat his family and friends with respect?

These are all wonderful ways to see beyond the external and into the internal of a person.  A true sign of character is if a person treats others with respect.

5. Is he honest?

This is where we have to trust our intuition!  Lies can sometimes go unrecognized by sight and sound, but they can be easily felt if you are in tune with your intuition.

I often tell people I have a “lie detector”.  It’s just a feeling that resembles a buzzer when someone is lying to me.

The majority of people will tell little white lies, this is about a deceitful person who may be using you or deceiving you in some way.  Remember:  Living in fear, can masquerade as a “buzzer”.  Fear is very different than intuition.

6. How does he treat his mother? 

(I love this one!)  Although it may seem like an old wives’ tale, the way a man treats, honors and respects his mother can (but not always) show you how he feels about women in general.

If a man generally treats his mother with respect, chances are he learned this at a young age and understands a woman’s worth.

7. Does he seek to please you? 

When a man truly loves and respects you, he will do his very best to please you.  He will want you to make decisions about restaurants, movies and outings that will make you happy.

He will say things like:  It doesn’t matter what we do, I just want to hang out with you.  And he will mean it!

8. Does he speak about long term goals with you in the picture?

A man’s commitment to the relationship can oftentimes be detected through his dialog regarding long term goals.  If he speaks too much in the “I” format, chances are he is selfish and not really regarding you as lifelong.

If he speaks in the “we or us” format, chances are he is seeing you as one unit.  When a man is on board with the union of commitment and relationship, he is in proper understanding that the relationship regards two individuals and not just one (him). 

In choosing your partner, it is essential that you have a list of what is acceptable and what is not acceptable for you.  Some items may be okay to compromise a bit (and that is fine), but some things should never be compromised.

Remember, you cannot expect another to have a list of amazing attributes and then you fall short yourself. Working on self and being the best person you can be is equally as important.

Whatever level of energy you are vibrating in, you will attract the same back to you in the form of a partner.

Loving and honoring yourself is the golden ticket to raising your vibration in order to choose a partner that will add great benefit to your life!

About the author

Kristen Brown

Kristen Brown is an empowerment and spiritual life coach,author and speaker who is highly passionate about facilitating healing in the areas of:  betrayal recovery, self-worth discovery, personal empowerment and reclaiming one’s life. 

Her motto is: Change yourself and you change your world!  To learn more about Kristen or to join her community on Facebook, please reference the sites below.

Website:   www.sweetempowerment.com

Facebook:  www.facebook.com/sweetempowermentlifecoaching