8 Ways Your Home May Be Sabotaging Your Love Life - How To Win a Man's Heart

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August 8, 2017

8 Ways Your Home May Be Sabotaging Your Love Life

The home of a single person often screams “I’m single and I’m going to stay that way!”

No matter how much they say they want to be in a relationship, no matter how much effort they put into dating and meeting someone special, oftentimes their home is sabotaging the possibility of them finding and having a healthy, loving partnership.

The home doesn’t just impact single people. The home can wreak havoc on a marriage as well.

Your Home is a Reflection of You

The people we associate with affect the impression that others have of us, the opportunities presented to us, and even our success in life.

Our home is also a reflection of us. Not just our decorating tastes or budget, but our subconscious. This can affect our relationships.

Everything is energy and therefore impacts every other thing around it. The things in your home can and do impact you and your relationships.

Our home, our environment, is a reflection of us. And much more than that, it makes a statement about us to other people, and to ourselves.

That’s right, not only does our home tell others things about us, our homes tell us things about ourselves. The things it “says” may or may not be true; however, they send a message to our subconscious.

Our subconscious takes this message to heart.

Sometimes it can be a case of self-sabotage, and sometimes it may be an important message. Sometimes we don’t know ourselves as well as we think, and our home may be telling us something that we haven’t yet seen about ourselves.

Whether you are married, in a relationship, or looking to be in a relationship, the following eight points will help you prepare your home for the relationship you desire.

1. Avoid the “Everything Room”

Bedrooms should be used for sleeping and romance only. When we were children, our bedroom was what I refer to as our “everything room.”

We slept there, did our homework there, and entertained our friends there. We kept all of our stuff in our bedroom. As adults, many people continue to do this.

Bedrooms are often offices, home gyms, libraries, or movie theatres. All of these other functions distract from romance.

If you have a television in your bedroom, unless you use it to aid romance with your partner, be sure to cover it with a beautiful cloth, or keep it in a cabinet with doors you can close.

This will quiet the distraction, thus improving sleep and the opportunity for romance.

2. Make Sure Your Pets Know Their Place

I’m a pet owner so I know this one can be challenging.

Whether you let your pet(s) sleep in your bed with you or nearby, be sure the pet knows its place, or more accurately its hierarchy.

We love our pets, often like children, and that is fine, as long as that doesn’t inadvertently rank a potential mate after the pet. Yes someone new in our lives has to “earn” their position.

I’m not saying give it freely to every Tom, Dick, or Sally that shows up in your life.

I am saying, however, that you will need to be willing to let a potential mate earn the status of alpha, ahead of your pets.

I’ve seen singles and couples place pet beds so close to the bed that the human mate has to maneuver the pet bed to join you in bed.

That sends a message that the pet comes first. Make sure both sides of your bed are easily accessible to indicate your openness to allowing someone special into your life and your home.

3. Three’s a Crowd

If you want a partnership rather than a threesome, be sure that is reflected in your home. It is considered artistic by many to place decorative objects in groups of three.

From a visual perspective this is considered to balance and please the eye. From a subconscious perspective, this creates the exact opposite of balance.

It creates an environment that attracts threesomes rather than partnerships. Look at the pictures on your walls, the vases, the pillows on the bed, and any other decorative items.

If you have a lot of groups of three around your home you will likely attract people that have some other person or activity that will keep you from really connecting and building a partnership with another person.

4. What’s in your closet?

Just about every time I give a presentation, the subject of closet space comes up. There is usually one woman that disputes what I say on this subject.

I stand firm in my opinion that it is harmful to a relationship to banish one partner’s clothes to a hall or guest room closet.

Sharing closet space with your mate creates opportunity for intimacy each and every time you get dressed.

Banning one person creates an environment of inequality; one partner allowing the other to visit their boudoir rather than two partners sharing a private space.

It’s up to you, what would you rather keep close to you, your partner or all of your clothes?

5. The Art of Love

Take a look around your home. In particular look at the art you have.

Many single women have a majority of artwork depicting single women. That sends a subconscious message to them about being single.

For some, they may feel inferior because they are single, some may be frustrated or depressed, and others may feel hopeless.

For both men and women, artwork should encourage romance and relationships. This can be done by having paintings of couples or romantic places.

It’s ok to have some single women or crowds of three, but the majority of the artwork should inspire love and romance, however that looks for you.

6. Two Peas in a Pod

If you want to be part of a couple, show that in your environment. When you hang pictures, hang them in groups of two rather than three.

Be sure to hang them at equal heights to depict that both partners are equal and the relationship is balanced. When you put out vases or other items, display them in pairs that look like they belong together.

For example, one tall and thin vase, placed alongside a short and stout vase, is a mismatch. They don’t have to be exactly the same, but they should look like they belong together in some way.

They should represent balance and equality, not necessarily identical twins.

7. Please Come In

You can tell a lot about how open a person is by how much of an obstacle course you need to maneuver to enter their home.

Some things to look for include: overhanging tree branches or other greenery that in some way reduces the size of the walkway or entrance.

A front door that is not clearly marked, perhaps it is around the corner, or there is a fork in the path and the visitor is unsure which direction to go to enter.

Make sure house numbers and apartment numbers are clearly marked and easily visible.

If there is something unique or out of the ordinary about your address, be sure to advice visitors of these things so they do not have to search for your home’s entrance.

Keep other items, such as books, shoes, athletic equipment, pet paraphernalia and children’s toys, out of the way.

A guest should not have to maneuver an obstacle course to enter or they may feel that your life could be an obstacle course to maneuver as well.

8. Long Live the King or Queen

Single people often set up their home for their own comfort: One grand chair, directly in front of the television or only one complete set of dishes.

Frequently there is one dining chair open and available while the others are piled with mail, newspapers, clothing, etc.

Single people often get too comfortable being single in their own space, making it harder for them to adjust to another person sharing the space with them.

There is nothing wrong with being comfortable in your home, as long as there is a willingness to make another person comfortable there along with you.

Practice keeping two dining chairs open and available, two seats in the living space to comfortably watch television, and two sets of dishes in case you want to share a meal with another person.

Try to grasp the concept behind the ideas above, rather than implementing them exactly as written.

It’s important that you look around your space and get familiar with it. Think about what you would do differently if you were sharing your current space with a partner.

Start making room for that special someone in your home, and there will more likely be room for them to show up in your life.

About the author

Helen Arabanos

Helen Arabanos is the author of HE’S INTO YOU… But Is His Home? What a Man’s Feng Shui Can Reveal About Him, and a Professional Feng Shui Consultant based in Westlake Village, CA.

To know more about Helen Arabanos, visit her website www.FullBloomFengShui.com.