9 Reasons Why He Won’t Commit To You - How To Win a Man's Heart

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July 8, 2015

9 Reasons Why He Won’t Commit To You

You’ve finally found the perfect man and you think he’s the one. But he seems unable to settle down and unwilling to commit to you. But why are you willing to settle down and why isn’t he? Below are a number of reasons for why he might not want to commit right now and why he might not commit in the future.

1. He’s not yet over his ex and is on the rebound

Most men will say that they are absolutely over their ex and they might completely believe it. But when they get involved in a new relationship – with you – they realize that they might not be over their ex yet. They don’t want to hurt you by saying that they still have feelings for their ex, and so they show a reluctance to commit. In this scenario, it’s likely that you’re his rebound relationship – and rebound relationships are unlikely to end well.

2. He doesn’t want a girlfriend

If he’s unwilling to commit, it might simply be because he doesn’t want to have a girlfriend – he doesn’t want to be exclusive with anyone. He might like you and he might like spending time with you, but he doesn’t want to be exclusive with you, or anyone else, so that he can carry on playing the field.  The man who doesn’t want to commit might come right out and tell you that he wants to play the field – or he might not call you by name and will instead refer to you as “angel” “baby” or “sweetie” – that way, if he forgets your name or forgets who he’s talking to, he won’t call you by someone else’s name.

3. He’s had bad experiences in past relationships

A man who has been cheated on, treated poorly or abused by a former partner might well be unwilling to commit so that he doesn’t get himself hurt again. It’s completely understandable that someone who has hurt before would be a little afraid of getting involved so that he doesn’t get hurt again. This man will also be looking for any signs that you’re likely to hurt him, and because he’s looking, he’ll probably find them. However, you can move past this with patience. You just need to prove to him that you’re trustworthy. Eventually, he’ll come to realize that you’re different.

4. He doesn’t want you as a girlfriend

In this situation, he might like you, he might like spending time with you and he might like having sex with you, but he doesn’t see you as a long-term prospect. For him, you’re not suitable long-term relationship or marriage material and so he doesn’t see the point in committing to you. It might well be that he will continue to be with you until “the one” comes along – and he already knows that “the one” is not you.

5. He’s happy with the way his life is

Some men have very fulfilling lives with their friends, hobbies and work and so they might not want to commit simply because there is no room in their lives for a full-time girlfriend. If this is your man, it’s likely that he has tons of hobbies and can often be found at the pub with his friends or at his flat playing video games. He might spend lots of time at the office or playing tennis with the boss. Whatever he’s doing in his downtime, he’s not spending it with you – and he’s fine with that. You can forge a relationship with this man, and it could go two ways – he might decide that he likes you enough to let you into his life, or he might carry on with things as they are, only seeing you as and when he pleases.

6. He knows that he doesn’t have to commit to you for you to stay with him

In this situation, he knows that he doesn’t have to be committed to you for you to stay in the relationship. He might have cheated on you, and you might have threatened to leave him, but still stayed by his side – and so he knows that no matter what he does, no matter how poorly he treats you and no matter how unwilling he is to commit, you’ll stay in his life. He knows that he isn’t going to lose you and so he isn’t going to commit. Why would he? He has everything he wants and needs and he doesn’t have to commit because you’re not going anywhere.

7. He loves love

He might be unwilling to commit because he loves the first flush of love – first dates, first kisses, the first time he has sex with a new partner, telling a new partner new stories, spending time with his new girl – and then when that first flush of love is over, he might well find a new woman to enjoy those firsts with. This man might never settle down, and if he does, he might well be a serial cheat.

8. He feels pressured

If you’re heaping the pressure on to your man to commit to you, to settle down, move in with you, have babies and get married, he might put the brakes on simply because he’s feeling pressured and things are moving too quickly. You might think he’s the one, but he might not have even thought about the future yet. It’s important not to push someone into making decisions and equally, he doesn’t want to feel like he’s been coerced into doing something he doesn’t want to do. Hold off on discussing baby names or where you want to buy your first home until you are sure that you have a genuine, solid relationship.

9. He just wants sex

Some men might not commit simply because they don’t want the pressures that a relationship brings – spending time together, being thoughtful, remembering birthdays – instead, he just wants sex. He enjoys being with you physically, but he probably enjoys being with any woman physically. Because he’s only into the physical side of relationships, he might not commit simply because he doesn’t want to.