How To Have the 'Where is This Relationship Going' Talk With Him - How To Win a Man's Heart

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July 2, 2015

How To Have the ‘Where is This Relationship Going’ Talk With Him

You’ve been dating a great guy for a few months, and you’re loving it. Things couldn’t be better between you to, and you look forward to talking to him or the next time you’ll be getting together. But still, your mind starts to wander and you begin thinking about your future together – does he see what you see?

After the honeymoon period of any great relationship, it’s natural to want to know where the two of you are going and where both of you see yourselves. You’re an independent woman with your own set of goals, aspirations, desires, values, and more, so your time is definitely valuable – it’s fair to want to know whether the relationship you’re in is right for you.

Essentially, what this means is that it may be time for “the talk” – you know which one we’re talking about. It’s not as easy as it was in high school, but the talk still happens in many relationships that make it out of the starting gates. It does take many different shapes, but it happens in one form or another in any relationship that has continued for at least a few months or so. When you’re ready to have the talk, here are some things to keep in mind to prepare yourself well for it.

State where you stand clearly

When having the talk, it’s important to clearly state your feelings about the two of you. You’re an active part of the relationship, and you need to be sure that the both of you are on the same wavelength if you want to have something a bit more meaningful with your man. Be sure to not come across condescending or needy when discussing this, and try to have a calm and relaxed conversation with your man. He’ll respond well to you being confident and collected about the whole process, and it should also help him realize that “the talk” doesn’t have to be a huge deal.

Talk about the benefits

If you want to pursue a relationship with your man, it’s important to talk about the benefits of being in an exclusive relationship. This will make the idea even more attractive to him, and will help coax good vibrations from him as well about the possibility. Be upfront with him about the benefits to yourself, but be sure to focus on the benefits for him and the both of you as well. A relationship is a partnership that should enrich both of your lives so if you feel that it’s natural to talk about, you can talk about how the two of you can do that together.

Make sure that it’s not all about you

Having the talk is an important step that all couples take – couples meaning two people. While you are definitely a significant part of the talk, your man will be just as important. Encourage him to take part in the conversation and see where he stands on the issue. Without knowing where he thinks the relationship is going, it will be impossible to find a way to forge ahead with him.

Not only will asking his opinion make him feel more engaged in the relationship, but it is the easiest way to find out if he’s on the same page as you. It’s a direct way to find out what his relationship goals are, and will help you find out whether or not he’s open to the idea of a deeper relationship at all.

Feel for the right time

Unfortunately for some, there is such a thing as having the talk too early on in a relationship where it might scare off your guy, and also such a thing as having it too late where there may be relationship burnout, or a sense of wasted time if you don’t see eye to eye. That obviously begs the question, “when is the right time to have the talk?” Well, that time is different for every couple. What you should look for is a time where you’ve gotten to know him a bit more intimately (and vice versa), have been together for a while, and can see the relationship going somewhere further. You’ll also want to have the talk at a time when you feel he’ll be receptive to it and willing to have a conversation about it.

Be ready if the answer isn’t everything you hoped for

It’s important to know that not every relationship is sunshine and lollipops, even if it feels that way at first. Don’t be that girl that goes off the deep end, gets extremely angry, or breaks down emotionally because the talk ultimately didn’t go as you hoped. Instead, respect the fact that he has his own opinions about where the two of you stand. It’s up to you to decide whether or not you want to continue pursuing or working on your current relationship with him based on his stance and how it fits with yours.

Don’t compromise your relationship goals

Remember, you’re one half of the relationship. If you feel that you will not be able to get what you desire out of the relationship based on how the talk goes, you are well within your rights to leave that guy behind. It may hurt at first, but it’s up to you to get out there and find the right man who you can build a fulfilling and rewarding relationship with.

For some women, having “the talk” is as easy as flicking a light switch because it’s a supremely natural transition from where their relationship currently is. For others, it can be much more complicated than that and possibly lead to the end of a relationship if they come to see that they won’t be able to get what they want out of the relationship. The only way to find out where your relationship is going with your man is to have the talk when you feel the time is right, and discover the answer for yourself.