My Ex Wants To Be Friends But I Still Love Him: What Should I Do? - How To Win a Man's Heart

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February 20, 2016

My Ex Wants To Be Friends But I Still Love Him: What Should I Do?

In this video, Clay answers a question about how to take his relationship with his ex to the next level.

Once the 30-day Active No Contact period has ended and you have grown to a place where you are in control of your own well-being, it might be time to make a move toward re-uniting with your ex. But, what do you do if your ex is treating you like an old friend instead of a lover?

A special kind of intimacy

Because you have shared much, you have common memories and a leg-up on other friendships which are moving toward a physical relationship. Remember, the foundation of any relationship is mutual trust and respect. You have some of the components already. Lucky you. But, like all relationships, you have to build from the foundation upward and friendship is the very best foundation to have. Old couples who have years of successful relationship behind them will tell you that the friendship between them is the mortar that holds them together.

Is the fire gone?

No. Your ex may not be sending you passionate clues, but whatever attracted her to you in the first place is still there. You may be frustrated that she’s not behaving the way she used to toward you, but that’s because you are both enjoying a new beginning. If she’s treating you warmly, she still has feelings for you. However, there has been enough of a change in the way you are, she’s accepted the fact that the two of you won’t be falling back into the same old flawed relationship. She’s retreated to the traditional feminine posture and is probably waiting for you to take the initiative.

Fanning the flames

That your ex is waiting for you to take your relationship to the next level means that you need to woo her. You may be rusty, but it’s done in the same way any new attraction becomes a flirtation and then a raging bonfire. You need to make a move. Ask her out to dinner. She’s waiting for a physical gesture, a touch or a caress to let her know that you are, indeed, hitting on her.

Let her know that you are eager to make a fresh start. This gives you both a chance to put the past behind you and get to know the new, improved couple you can be.

About Clay Andrews

Clay and Mika are the creators of Ex Solution Program and help couples get back together.