Should I Get Back Together With My Ex? Key Questions To Ask Yourself Before You Get Back With Your Ex - How To Win a Man's Heart

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February 14, 2016

Should I Get Back Together With My Ex? Key Questions To Ask Yourself Before You Get Back With Your Ex

In this video, Clay talks about why it is a big mistake to try to WIN your ex back.

When you have been involved in a break-up, it’s not unusual to want to do whatever it takes to win your partner back. Even if the break-up hasn’t happened yet, we often feel so panicky that we’re willing to do whatever it takes, to make even unreasonable changes to keep that breakup from happening. This is a serious mistake.

Relationships Take at Least Two People

Not only can you not have a relationship alone, you cannot fix a broken relationship without the good-faith efforts of your partner. You have both made mistakes. You have both contributed to whatever problems you’re currently experiencing. So, it’s unreasonable to expect that you can make all the changes necessary to put things to right. If you want your ex back, you have to find a way to make your partner buy into the process of fixing what’s wrong.

Trying to Fix It Alone is Hurtful to You

It makes no sense for you to take on all the responsibility for the bad things that may have happened in your relationship. In the heat of the break-up, you may take to heart the hurtful things that are said and actually believe that you did it all without any help. This is not true. As the old saying goes, it takes two to tango. Your ex contributed to the problems and as devoted as you may be, you cannot be responsible for his or her mistakes. Instead of beating yourself up, try nurturing yourself and doing things that make you feel whole and content.

Understanding Where Your Happiness Lies

When you finish what we call the Active No Contact period, you will have a better understanding about what went wrong in your relationship. You will also have the very liberating knowledge that your happiness and well-being are not located outside yourself. In other words, your ex cannot make you happy. Nor can you protect your ex from things they do. They have responsibility for their own actions and the consequences they earn.

Happiness and contentment may be possible between you and your ex, but an attempt to WIN your ex back will only result in disappointment. Take some time to recognize that you have value. Perhaps your ex will realize that in time.

About Clay Andrews

Clay and Mika are the creators of Ex Solution Program and help couples get back together.