What Makes a Man Commit - How To Win a Man's Heart

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July 7, 2015

What Makes a Man Commit

It’s the question that drives women crazy about most of their serious relationships – what is it that makes a man commit? Figuring it out is never easy, and there’s no surefire way to know whether he’s ready or not. Although there is no magic formula to make your man commit, there are a handful of telltale signs of a guy who’s ready to be in a committed relationship. Take a look and see just how many of these apply to your current relationship – you might be surprised at what you find out about your current situation!

Your relationship is equal parts give and take

A relationship needs two people. An engaging relationship that makes a man want to commit will have two people who are both active parts of it, through and through. This also means that neither member of the relationship feels like they’ve overextended or have been taken advantage of by the other.

A common relationship issue that comes up in this vein is when a guy keeps trying to pay for meals, gifts, and other displays of affection during a relationship. Don’t let a man constantly buy these things for you– make an effort to reciprocate now and then, or offer value back in a different way. For instance, instead of footing the bill of a fancy dinner for two by yourself, have an intimate meal and a movie at home with him.  This will send the message that you’re willing to go the extra mile to show that you appreciate him – just like he’s willing to do for you.  A good amount of balance in a relationship brings harmony, and that is something a guy looks for before he wants to commit.

He’s able and willing to share secrets and vulnerabilities with you

He needs to be able to confide in you, plain and simple. Guys already have trouble opening up to some of their best friends and people they’ve known for years. If he can share his thoughts and feelings with you, you likely have a man who’s well on his way to being ready to commit.

Not only will sharing these things bring you together, but it will also show the deep amount of trust that he harbors in you. Guys like to act tough and stoic on the outside, but are just as vulnerable as anyone – after all, they’re only human. Taking this step with you is definitely significant and one of the building blocks of any successful long term relationship.

He knows that he doesn’t have to completely change his life for you

When it comes to significant life changes, a lot of men want to do things at their pace, or feel like any bigger change was of their own desire. Feeling like they have influence or some semblance of control in their lives is very important to men. If they feel like they’re losing that by simply being in a committed relationship, the thought of impending commitment alone could scare them off.

If you and your man have a strong relationship, you can get beyond this point through solid communication backed up by corresponding action. Don’t force yourself into his life, and respect that he’ll want some freedom and privacies of his own. Not only will this let him feel in control, it will also help keep your womanly allure fresh and exciting. Eventually, as you give him some boundaries while your relationship together remains exciting and palpable, he’ll come to his own realization that he likes being around you and will want to seek you out more often. He’ll want to make that commitment without nearly as much pushing or prodding.

He is comfortable with bringing you into the rest of his life

On a similar note, a guy may be ready for a commitment if he’s willing to bring you into other aspects of his life. When he’s trying to make you an active part of his world – like asking you to go along with some old friends of his that you haven’t met before, or to be his guest at the wedding of a cousin of his – it means that he’s more comfortable having you around. He’s beginning to define you as an important and maybe even essential part of who he is, and wants people in his world to know it.

This is one of the more obvious steps a man can take to show he is ready for commitment. Once he’s doing this type of thing, it shows that he’s comfortable with you, trusts you to reflect well on him, and thinks you’re one of the best features of his life overall. In many cases, it’s a subtle but intimate display of his affection and respect for you.

He can see that commitment with you has amazing benefits

When you’re not in a committed relationship, it’s important that you hold on to some of your most alluring traits. The best relationships have you discover the person you’re with again and again – they keep revealing aspects of themselves that may not exactly something you see in yourself, but consider interesting and attractive to you nonetheless. If you let him get all the benefits of a committed relationship with you despite not having committed, your man may have a harder time justifying a committed relationship. Hold back on some things, and let him know that a commitment is what you want to get the best of a relationship with you.

That said, this is not a green light to begin blackmailing someone in a relationship – that angle won’t work for anyone in the long run. Instead, use it as an opportunity to have a conversation about what you want and where you two are at in your relationship. Have a discussion about where you stand and how each of you see the relationship progressing. Be sure to not be too illustrious with the ideal situation you’ve created in your head, but have a real forum about what your relationship goals are –and avoid coming off overbearing or needy.

Commitment is a bigger step for some guys than others, but it should always be treated as something significant. Whether you can feel that your man is ready to commit or not, it’s ultimately his decision to make that last leap of faith and engage in a meaningful relationship with you. It takes two to tango, and being able to recognize whether or not he’s ready for a commitment right now will be important in determining if he’ll ever get to that point.