Why Confidence and Competence Will Encourage Him To Call You Instead of Texting - How To Win a Man's Heart

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December 6, 2015

Why Confidence and Competence Will Encourage Him To Call You Instead of Texting

In this video, Matthew Hussey, a dating coach, defines how confidence and competence will help you establish successful communication in almost any situation including encouraging a guy to call you instead of texting.

Confidence and Competence

Being confident or being yourself is an oversimplification of what it takes to be successful in some situations. We do need confidence but we also need to be competent. You can be confident and still fail if you aren’t competent; if you don’t understand correctly what it is that you want and how to take action. Similarly if you have been doing something for a long time, you become competent at it, and confidence grows from this. However, confidence is area specific. Just because you are confident in one thing doesn’t mean you will be confident in everything else. For example, you can be confident in your work but maybe not confident in your love life.

Calling vs. Texting

Effective communication that breeds real results is a skill you have to build. If you aren’t satisfied with communicating over text and want to establish a deeper level of personal communication, you can often achieve the results you want in three steps.

First, if you want a guy to call you more often, actually reaching out and calling more often yourself, even if you just leave a message, will send a clear invitation that it is ok to call you back.

Secondly, try and establish a negative association with texting. No man wants to feel like he is just a buddy, or a “pen pal.” If you convey that this is what texting seems like to you, some kind of platonic interaction that isn’t sexy, you are creating negative stigma around texting all the time. It sends him a wake up jolt that you want to establish a genuine method of communication.

Lastly, affirm with him after you speak to him how much you enjoyed your conversation. Let him know it was thrilling for you, that it left you feeling flustered, or how positive it made you feel. This lets him know that you find him desirable and creates a positive feeling associated with talking on the phone.

Rehearse in Order to Succeed

You need to learn, prepare, and master all different techniques, as sometimes bare confidence is not enough. This is why great public speakers have spent hours preparing for even just a casual speech, even if they are confident in their abilities. If you really want to do well in an area you have to have the structure and knowledge, as well as confidence in order to succeed.

If you can master confidence and competence you are then free to be spontaneous. You won’t be able to have fun when you don’t know what you are doing. You won’t be able to successfully communicate, or enjoy the moment. When you develop competency and confidence, men will not only gravitate to you, but you will often attract the kind of men you want to attract, not the ones who are not right for you.

About Matthew Hussey

Matthew Hussey, speaker and New York Times Bestselling author, serves as a matchmaker on “Ready for Love,” NBC’s innovative and dramatic new relationship show about making real connections.

Through his online programs, viral internet broadcasts, sell-out seminars, NYT Bestselling book, and his roster of private clients, he has been able to pass on his insights and strategies to countless people. 50,000 women have attended his live events and he has reached over 10 million online. Hussey is the new international guru of the dating and relationship-coaching scene.

To know more about Matthew Hussey, visit his website below.