Why Falling Too Fast For a Guy Drives Him Away - How To Win a Man's Heart

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May 9, 2015

Why Falling Too Fast For a Guy Drives Him Away

In this video, Julie Ferman discusses how to avoid possessive and clingy behavior.

Once women engage in sexual behavior with a man, she is apt to fall prey to the hormone oxytocin also known as the ‘cuddle chemical.” This hormone is the same hormone that courses through the body of a mother nursing her child and it fosters bonding between the two beings.  Sexual activity also causes the release of oxytocin and causes a woman to feel bonded to her sexual partner.

The Oxytocin Trap

Completely without her knowing it, a woman who has had sex with a man undergoes a totally different bond with him than he is capable of understanding. She, no matter how level-headed and pragmatic she usually is, can suddenly find herself doing bizarre things like driving by his house at all hours of the night and calling him on the phone just to hear his voice on his answering machine. Oxytocin will create female stalkers, so the best thing to do is to avoid it’s introduction until she is completely assured that there is a MUTUAL bond, not just a chemical one that only she is experiencing.

Two Ways to Keep the Trap from Snapping Shut

1. Have short dates. Keep your initial interactions short. Have lunch. Have dinner, but don’t allow the date to linger on into the night. Romantic walks in the park or long kisses good night can be dangerous. Not only is it likely that one thing will lead to another and sexual activity might ensue, but you are also likely to regret being too available. (Men almost always want to pursue the forbidden fruit or the unattainable anything. Be unattainable, for awhile anyway.)

2. Have no more than one glass of wine. There is no need to tempt fate. When you drink more than one glass of wine, your inhibitions get softened up and, the next thing you know, you’re lingering together into the night and taking the chance of engaging in sexual behaviors that might release the oxytocin beast.

If you keep your hormones in check, you are much more likely to get to know this man in better ways than if you don’t. If your mind is unclouded by ‘cuddle chemistry’ you will obtain a much more reliable assessment of the man he is and the partner he might be if things are allowed to progress. Additionally, by following these little rules, you can remain clear-headed and in control of the navigational process that will guide this relationship toward its destination.

To know more about Julie Ferman, visit her website at www.cupidscoach.com.

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