Why You Should Allow Men To Pursue You - How To Win a Man's Heart

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May 9, 2015

Why You Should Allow Men To Pursue You

In this video, Julie Ferman discusses the importance of allowing the man to court you.

In our new status as liberated women, we have, in large part, forgotten that men have (and enjoy having) certain visions about their role in the relationship. Because we no longer pay much attention to the grandmother who tells us to “play hard to get,” we frequently blunder right into a relationship and right over the man who wants to play his part in spite of our ‘equality.’

On Being Forbidden Fruit

Men have been socialized to be the aggressor in all things. They think that it’s their job to pursue the woman in a relationship and are often thrown off their game entirely by a woman who takes the initiative of calling him after the first date or asking him out to dinner. Because of his understanding of “how this is done” he may be frightened off by the woman who is bold and uninhibited.

Before you approach him, consider being a bit more mysterious. Allow him to do the heavy lifting. Send him body-language signals that let him know that you’re approachable, then let him do the approaching. (Yes. It may feel as if the entire business of burning your bra was somehow wasted when you take a more submissive role, but until men are liberated, you’ll have more luck by playing along.)

You’re Scary

You may not know just how scary you are. Even the really hot, sophisticated guy you think has it all together is probably just a little in awe of you. He, like most men, is just a scared teenager inside. You need to help him along, and one sure way to do that is to let him play the game by the rules he was taught. You need not be the aggressor. Just put out the welcome mat by being open and friendly. Be playful and approachable, and he’ll do the rest. (If he doesn’t, you probably don’t want him anyway.)

Let Him Win You Over

Men throughout time have seen themselves as conquering heroes. This is the way they measure their own success and worth. In this exercise, when you ‘surrender’ too easily, he sees you as less desirable and himself as goofy for chasing somebody who is ordinary.

This is not simply about sexual activity. As a matter of fact, it begins instantly upon meeting. He is always gauging how attainable you are and measuring himself against your attraction to him. Be a bit illusive. He values the chase and will value you for allowing him the chase.

To know more about Julie Ferman, visit her website at www.cupidscoach.com.

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