Why You Should Be Prepared To Lose Him When He Pulls Away - How To Win a Man's Heart

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August 13, 2014

Why You Should Be Prepared To Lose Him When He Pulls Away

The number one tip that will have him coming back to you is you have got to be prepared to lose someone in order to bring them closer. This is about your heart. If a man is not stepping up, if a man is not making an effort with you, if a man blows hot and cold, then the only person who you can have some control on is you. This is the moment when self – love and worth will be your greatest supporters. You must listen to your heart. Does your heart tell you to chase or lean back, does your heart tell you to pursue or to love you and focus on your life?

For example: Have you really liked a man who seemed keen and then kind of pulled back? You keep thinking about him and you’re dying to call or send him a message and as you’re writing the message you know that you’re pushing it, that you probably shouldn’t. Before you know it you press send and it’s done, or you call and it goes to message bank. You feel better for a moment and then 4 hours pass and he has not responded. This is the cycle you’ve got to break. The anxiety cycle. Doing something to break the feeling of anxiety is rarely fulfilled by contacting him, it normally creates another cycle of anxiety. This is when you need to engage more in your complete life and as I mention in the Calling & Texting Chapter – if you must contact the guy, at most, send him ONE message, that’s it! If he can’t take the lead, then it’s time to be prepared to lose him.

When a woman fears she might be losing a man she becomes hyper vigilant, she tries really hard to get him to connect with her, she can wreak of desperation and obsession and he’ll feel controlled and under pressure. Men have a strong aversion for pressure. The ground becomes shaky and she starts to stumble and fall. The way to stand firm is to be unwavering under uncertain times. The woman has to be certain of one thing and that’s herself.

The best way to deal with the above seven reasons why a man pulls away is what I call the ever powerful, sanity saving and love promoting – “3 W’s”.

These 3 W’s are simple to follow love and intimacy secrets that will assist you to “bring your man back”!!!


No man can make you less than whole. Never forget this. Remember that no matter whether he’s hot, cold, close, distance, loving, kind, disinterested, or gone incognito- you are 100% whole. You are always worthy of love. When you believe this you’ll be far more successful at navigating these moments. When you know you are whole you know what kind of relationship is good for you and healthy. Sometimes when a man pulls away it’s a blessing in disguise. When you feel complete and whole you’ll know what’s important.


You might be thinking… why would I want to remain ‘warm’ when this guy keeps pulling away!? Nadine, I feel hurt and frustrated and now you’re telling me to be warm! I want to hit him and yell at him and now you’re telling me to be warm. To be warm is very different to being a pushover. You can still lay down some healthy and clear boundaries and remain heart felt and authentic. You can still talk to your man about your concerns and ask him why he’s pulling away and still be approachable and heart connected. It’s up to you. Do you want him to be receptive or to run? Do you want him to listen or to hide?


To be withstanding means to remain undamaged or unaffected by an event. This point relate to the first ‘W’ of being ‘Whole’. When a man retracts you can fall into a heap and be easily dismantled or you can be strong, graceful and able to weather the storm. Being withstanding will allow you to put your best foot forward and allow you to hold the key to love without dropping it. Withstanding means that you won’t give in to your emotive impulses. When he pulls away you’ll not chase him. You may still have contact with him, although you won’t force yourself on him. If something doesn’t work out, you won’t fall apart. You’ll remain resilient – a glorious, beautiful deserving woman. You’ll learn as you go along and you’ll act with grace.

This article is an excerpt from Nadine Piat’s book: Never Lose Him and has been published with permission from the author. 

About Nadine Piat

Nadine Piat-Niski

Nadine Piat-Niski is a Personal Coach and an international expert in Confidence, Healthy Love and Breakup Recovery. Nadine is also a writer, speaker and columnist and she works with clients worldwide to skilfully assist them to address areas of their life that are not going to plan.

Nadine Piat-Niski is the person to see If you feel stressed, anxious and unhappy, lacking confidence and worth, and you would like to improve your relationships.

To know more about Nadine Piat, visit her website www.unlockhisheart.com.